I’m talking about your standard categorical mosquito. Sure, it’s not something we really want to send up as a perennial winner, but the fact is they win a lot of the time.
Can you remember a time when you changed long standing plans because you got there and the mosquitoes were so bad you had to am-scray no matter what? Well, can you? The answer is “yes, I have” so don’t be coy. Or Hatfield either.
And here’s the way to combat the little fiends. Preparation. First you get a 3 ounce plastic container of skeeter repellant. TSA won’t let you carry any more, so don’t even try it. You can always buy a couple gallons at your destination and TSA lets you carry money so don’t sweat it.
But you need some with you to get to the store at that vacation spot.
Make sure you have a good quality head net that goes over your hat and keeps the little monsters off your face. It’s crucial. Once they attack your ears and eyes you lose all rational thought which means the skeeters win. As usual.
Once you get to the skeeter infested destination you really do need to stop at the fist store and buy up their supply of repellant and killer. They’ll be more than happy to let you have whatever you want for well over 10 times its real value. The State Department calls that “foreign aid” and they encourage it.
Making other countries happy by selling American travelers gallon sized containers of dishwashing soap labeled “Mosquito Repellent” is a State Department coup. “It’s amazing what people will buy,” commented Adolphus Contagleonous, retired US Agriculture Department analyst recently.
In any case get as much of the stuff as you can. Street vendors are probably a better source than those danged “official” vendors, especially if they display signs saying, “US Government Approved.” Dead giveaway.
Your best bet is to set fire to it when you reach the mosquito area. The toxic fumes will kill any flying insect or tourist. So hold your breath.
OK, the point is: don’t let yourself be bitten by indigenous insects. They carry the local disease. It’s nasty. I don’t care where you go, even Cleveland, it’s always a good idea to ware protection. Against insects, that is. In Cleveland you might want more than insect protection, but that’s your problem. I’m just saying don’t be too confident. Cleveland is a bad place.
Which brings us to basketball. The NBA Owners voted 28 to 2 to allow the Sonics to move from Seattle to Ok City. Why not?
Well, the main reason is the size of the market. Seattle couldn’t get tax money building a big arena where these rich crybabies could play basketball. Oklahoma City voters approved a tax package that allows vast improvements to Ford Arena, or whatever they call it, to allow thousands of “fans” to see the games. But I hear they have awesome BBQ. But you have to go to Oklahoma to get it. I think there’s some closer. They also have skeeters there.
At $120 a game that won’t last long. Even though there’s a lot of oil money in Oklahoma I doubt there are a lot of people ready to spend it. Only a few people are rich oil barons.
Is there a point? Well, yes, there might be… Over the years the main thrust of the NBA has been to load pay envelopes with lots of big bills in order to get ball games in certain cities. We know that a person like Kobe Bryant (#24 Los Angeles Lakers) gets as much money every year as whole families get in a career. But we still pay to see him.
Here’s news. You can see him on TV free (until Feb 9, 2009). But why would you?
Why does anyone watch Kobe and all the other overpaid hot shots of the NBA?
Well maybe we like to pretend we could do that. For example, I know I could drive a stock car 237 mph for 500 miles around an oval track but I can’t be bought for such a small price. If they offered a gazillion bucks for each win I might consider it. In basketball I could hit 23 three point shots in a row against any defense in the NBA but I’d need a good paycheck. I don’t want to waste my time for less than $100 million.
So, you see the issue? No? Well, maybe I should make it clearer.
Howard Schultz, of Seattle, the boss over at Starbucks, used to own the Seattle Sonics. He sold the team to Clay Bennett who lives in Oklahoma City. Clay announced he had no intension of moving the team to Ok City.
Howard thought that was fine. He could see professional basketball from his super fancy Starbucks box seat at Key Arena any time he wanted. Ticket price was not an issue since he’s rich.
Clay and a few partners in Oklahoma want to have a basketball team near their houses so they can see Kobe play. See the connection? So they’ve paid hundreds of millions for permanent season tickets. For that they want the team to actually play in their home town.
Now Howard wants the team back. He wants to see them play near his home too. So it’s going to court. So is Seattle. So is the NBA. Guess what? Tax money pays for the courts and judges. So we get stuck anyway.
Why can’t we just toss a skeeter net over the whole bunch?
Al
See Blog at: http://lbrtr.blogspot.com/
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