Saturday, January 3, 2009

Resolution Advisory

We here at Lake Boren want you to have a very Happy New Year filled with fun and relaxation. To help with that I thought it would be good to get the year going with some resolutions. So I thought about it some more. We’ve all heard the hundreds of trite and stale resolutions for improving ourselves. We don’t need to review those. What we need are behavior modifications for others.

Resolutions for 2009:

For Christine: Figure out how to replace the Alaska Way Viaduct and SR 520 Bridge without waiting for Obama’s second administration or the next earthquake.

For Timmy: Stop attacking the initiative process. We need our roads fixed and our schools funded – in a democracy we share expenses via a process called “taxes.” If you don’t like how it’s collected or how it’s spent then run for office and help make improvements; don’t just mess it up. The problem with Timmy is too many other people slept through Civics class and missed that part so they vote for his dumbass initiatives.

For the Newcastle City Council: Let them build the library. We’ve been talking about a library in Newcastle for years and you people keep changing the definition. Now it includes way too much for that small lot and your other rules don’t allow for a big enough structure.

For the Seattle Mayor, Greg: Stay on subject. Traffic in the area is a mess and nothing but bold and decisive action will improve it. Whenever highways and traffic are up for discussion let’s talk about that and make some decisions.

For Sound Transit: Get the light rail up and running. I know it won’t do much for traffic but I’m looking forward to the recreational rides.

For KOMO Radio: Get those blabbermouths off and get back to news and traffic reports. It’s very annoying to have to listen to that babble for ten minutes while waiting to hear how bad I-405 is backed up.

For BNSF: Run more trains. Seems like whenever I go someplace around here and see your tracks there’s nothing on them. I like to watch trains.

For Coal Creek Parkway: Finish up already! We’re tired of all the construction and the building of huge retaining walls. Renton is expected to finish their part this summer so we’d really like to see the whole thing four lane.

For College Football: Get the bowl games under control. This was the most confusing bowl season I’ve seen so far. Was there some kind of logic to all this? Ball State is playing Tuesday night. Is that the “National Championship” we’ve been hearing about?

For everyone: Have a Happy New Year!


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