Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Election Advisory

As a public service we here at Lake Boren are providing a quick review of the issues and candidates in the November 4 election. Following the review we’ll tell you how you should vote. Yes, we’re pretty generous. This will allow you to ignore all the political ads and discussions. If you have a mail ballot just get it now so you can fill it out as you read.

National office: President – What we have here is just about as confused as it can get. It’s all different from past elections so it’s hard to really know what to do. Since it’s O 8 just go ahead and vote for O-bama.and O-biden.

Senate: Doesn’t matter. They’ll hold endless hearings and explain how various things will or won’t work. Close your eyes and do it. Besides, whoever gets elected president will have to be replaced in the Senate so we’ll have another chance.

House: These people need to clean house. There are way too many. I’d say vote “NO” for anyone running for the House of Representatives.

Supreme Court: We don’t get to choose these people. How come?

Indiana Governor: Go with the funny names. That’s what we do in Washington and it works. Or anyway we remember who it is. Like Dixie, Scoop, Brock, and that other guy. So vote for Jilllong and Dennie.

Texas: Don’t vote. Just go to a local rodeo or something. We’ll let you know how it came out.
Tennessee: Yes, by all means vote. Get out there and make a difference. Just remember the funny name thing.

Mountain States: Same as Texas.

Washington: Our governess, Christine, should stay the course. We don’t need anyone named Dino. Oh wait, Dino is a funny name. OK, go ahead and throw your vote away.

All other states – just vote as early and as often as you can. We here in Washington will want some company in the endless recount/voter qualification process that will take place beginning November 5.

States that have an initiative process wherein citizens can gather signatures and get their pet projects on the ballot have lots of challenges. And our state has a couple of things on the ballot besides the usual politicians.

We have a “Death with Dignity” initiative. It works pretty well in Oregon and its point is to allow folks who can’t stand the pain of losing our basketball team end it all peacefully. Vote YES.

Another one, 985, will mess up the HOV lane system we’ve come to hate. Right now it works as intended, badly, but if this thing passes it won’t even work that well. This is like making a flat tire feel better by letting the air out of the other three tires. Vote NO.

Then we have the one about long term care worker certification. OK, yes.

I Googled other states to see what kind of nut farm initiatives they’re voting on. Oddly, lots of states don’t have any. And even more oddly, some of the ones that do are pretty odd. So I can’t give advice. Vote the way you think best. If your state has an interesting issue be sure to let me know.

Another thing we like to put on the ballot is something called a “Proposition.” It’s different. Usually put up by some kind of government type entity wanting lots of money. For example Sound Transit wants to extend the light rail system and they want voters to approve the money to do it. It’s called “Prop 1” and seems to get a lot of discussion. I’d like to see this one pass since it will eventually provide rapid transit to Newcastle. But I don’t have much hope for it.

Prop 1 people have this fixation on how many people can be carried and claiming an end to congestion. The people against it point out that it takes years to build the rails and get the trains running and by that time we’ll have way more people in the area. They want more highways now. And, sure, it costs a lot less per mile to pave than to put in light rail. Plus people aren’t in the mood to increase the sales tax these days.

OK, now I’ve got my ballot all marked and ready to mail. As soon as you finish yours we can form a convoy and mail them. I’ll wait.


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