Long ago, during the
Franco-Prussian War, raiders from Oklahoma came to Seattle and took away our beloved
basketball team. Now the old Sonics are
attempting to play under the pseudonym “Thumper” or something. Trying to make it seem like a whole different
team.
Also years ago we had an
earthquake. Earthquakes happen over and
over again. Kind of like acne. Not real popular.
Scientists and scholars put
their heads together and came up with a novel notion: “If it’s happened before
it’ll probably happen again” is what they decided. That was after years of study. Sure enough it happened again. Scientific people think about lots of things
like this.
Once the engineers got hold
of that information they began endless analysis of everything they had already engineered. The result was that they announced that maybe
millions of structures are at risk of crumbling to dust during earthquakes. Except that most earthquakes are fairly
localized (in California, for example) so lots of these risky structures will
probably be Okay.
One result of this hysteria
is that building codes and laws have been updated to require earthquake
survivability. Here’s where school
comes in.
Determination was made that
most of the old school buildings did not meet these earthquake requirements and
must be replaced. We’ve been replacing
schools, libraries, hospitals, and car washes for many years. Everywhere you look there’s a new school
where an old one used to be.
One of the premier schools
in the Greater Newcastle Metro Area is Bellevue High School. They just opened the new earthquake proof
version. Amazingly it contains a
basketball arena that can hold somewhat under 100,000 fans. OK, maybe not that many.
Another development recently
is that this guy from Seattle, who now lives in California, wants to get Seattle
an earthquake proof pro-basketball franchise.
He bought some old warehouse buildings in the south part of Seattle near
the baseball and football stadiums.
Together with several local citizens he wants to build a new arena and
buy a team. We also need a hockey team
for some reason. Maybe there aren’t
enough fights in the other sports.
People in Bellevue have also
been trying to figure out how to get a pro basketball franchise. They picked several secret sites and began
ruling them out one by one. The
conclusion was that Bellevue probably won’t get a team.
But wait! We just built a new high school with a gymnasium. Why not let them play there? Most NBA Arenas hold under 100,000 fans. We could steal the Nicks or the Clippers.
One resounding result of all
this loose talk is that many local people are pretty excited. They expect a new team momentarily. The loss of a pro sports team is a traumatic
event, similar to an earthquake. Except
that to recover from the loss of a pro sports team only requires the
acquisition of a new pro sports team.
Many people in Seattle already own a green shirt (soccer). Just tell us how to find the new arena and
here we go!
Issues have to be resolved
first. For example nobody will build a
new arena (the HS may not be acceptable) until there’s a firm commitment for a
team. We can’t get a firm commitment to
obtain another team unless we have a world class arena.
The other big issue is that
some people think it’s OK for the tax payers to help fund this new arena. See, here’s the thing: way back when the
grifters were working out how to sneak our team out of town one of the big
points was that Seattle would have to make the existing basketball arena
bigger. There have already been upgrades
and there was a great resistance to pay for yet another one. It has probably reached the upgrade limit. The alternative is to build a whole new
one. That costs money and nobody wants
to spend it.
This leaves us in the same
position. Trying to figure out how to
get the money and commitment to build a new arena while simultaneously securing
a commitment for another team is really tricky.
The fans are chomping at the
bit for a new team. My solution is to
buy one of the NCAA college teams. They
want to play in the NBA anyway, so why wait?
Include the coach and cheerleaders in the deal. While we’re waiting for them to graduate we
could be building an earthquake proof arena.
Mean time our new team could continue to play in the college arena.
They’d be rich enough to pay someone else to take their classes. That way they could devote all their time to pro
basketball.
Now all we need to do is
figure out which team to buy. It would
be rather efficient to buy the Washington Huskies since they already play in
Seattle. But those are details for the
rich folks to work out. I’m just the
idea man.
Al
